Sad, but free. Such an odd place to be.

As an advanced warning... I have no idea what kind of post this will be.

To quickly sum up recent events, after 2 weeks of starting to like someone, freaking out, going for someone else, then 1 month of being with the right person, and then 2 weeks of not being with that person but wondering whats going on, its all finally finished. The great news, I'm fine. Like, a good fine.

Its weird, I'm sad, for obvious reasons, but I feel free again, which feels nice. I'm no longer worried about whats going on in his head, not waiting for him to come back, and the best part, no angry feelings toward him at all. I forced him into talking tonight, cornered him on some stuff, and said nearly everything I wanted to say, and got the answers I wanted. Even pissed him off at one point (nearly impossible to do... he's quite laid back) which I'm not going to lie, tho it was unintentional, made me feel a little better. It showed a couple things, including the fact I influence him emotionally, and that he feels a little bad about what happened. Fair enough, we both caused each other pain. We're going to be friends, which is great, we're compatible and comfortable.

After that, I went to Stan's bday party... such an interessting experience. Finally dealt with some past that I've kinda avoided. Was good to get that dealt with, there are no hard feelings there either. Was really crazy to see how much a certain person understood me tho. He totally got aspects of my personality that I'm just coming to realize now, and it made me laugh. There are only a couple men in my life that totally get certain parts about me, and care for me unconditionally... but they lack things I want out of a relationship. Otherwise they'd be perfect. And now there are also one or two people who I care for unconditionally that have all the qualities I want in a relationship, but theres somehting else lacking in that...

As for this personality aspect... its something I've acknowledged before, but something thats gained alot of attention lately.

Relationships: 14 months, 2 months, 1 month, 1 month, 4 weeks, 4 weeks, 3 weeks, 2-3 things that NEARLY became relationships but I got bored to fast.

Work: 16 months, 9 months, 5 months, 4 months, 4 months, 4 months, 1 month. PLus a couple jobs with one or two shifts here and there.

School: Signed up for Criminology, dropped out, took a semester off, have taken 11 courses at CNC and don't want to go back. Want to now instead go to photography school.

Hobbies: Swimming 2 years, Kung-fu 2 years, Horse inconcistently for 10 years, gymnastics 4 years, theatre 3 years, photography 2 years.

Groups of friends: Constantly rotated, almost by seasons.

Hair: Short, long, medium, red, black, blonde, blue, brown, curly, straight.

I seem incapable of keeping anything constant or the same... there is nothing concrete in my life except for a couple friends and my family. The only thing consistent with me is that everything changes. A good friend informed me tonight that I change EVERYTHING in my life more than anyone he has ever met before. I don't know what to say about this personality aspect, just... its different. Its who I am. But I need to learn to channel it and control it better.

One other random fact before I go to bed... There is nothing more comfortable than bare feet, jeans and a tee shirt at the end of the day.