Monday, February 27, 2006

Japanese and Romanians

Well... what do I tell you all... lets try random sentences.

I've been home a few days and have managed to maintain my sanity.

I'm in love with someone who loves me back, but is just as messed up as I, and therefore must fight his own demons.

I feel refreshed and reviatalized, and will try to continue to excersize.

Am also taking multi vitamin, yay Dez.

I'm obsessed with Nana (popular manga) and Love from Linden Trees (see post below)

I love photography, and am sad about the camera being broken.

Am excited to see Becca's play this thursday.

I love my Mel.

I want my Becca to move out and live with my Mel or else where until she can get to Vancouver.

I TOTALLY want to move Becca to Van (aka, help her pack, make a roadtrip of it, set up her apartment/residence)

I want my Jenny back.

I miss my Aunty Chris, and her children.

Oh ya, and her husband, lol, j/k. We love Richard to!


When will the 3rd Nana come out!!!!

I can get Dragostea as a ringtone!!!

Phantom (Sword of truth) doesn't come out till june :(

Only the japanese gods know when Zelda will come out. ^~^

I just made this up -> ^~^ and it looks cute!!

I miss Garfield.

I saw a squirrel... he was doin like this: ^..^ (the dots are teeth, get it?)

I've used Becca's name more than anyone elses in this post.

"Let the bodies hit the floor"

And its true, 1 2 and 3, there's nothing wrong with me :D

Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to go back up.

I somehow hit rock bottom, tried to climb up again but my grip strength failed when the shovel got thrown down.

Now I'm using chalk and a helmet :D

Allo, salut.

Will the one I love come back to me?

It's not stupid, its advanced.

I really like my tattoo, but am nervous about actually putting it on my body.

I really have to pee.

I've drank way to much tea.

Dude, that rhymed.

I'm a poet and I didn't even try that hard.

I should actually watch Phantom of the Opera one day.

I love the ring Mel bought me.

I think I've said Mel almost as much as Becca.


I like you.

I still have to pee :S

This is getting long.

And probably boring.

Or just plain weird.

OH! I went to a Mary Kay party today.

It was like getting another mini facial for free.

My face looks so clear right now!

I wonder if my pee will be green like the tea i've been drinking

That would be cool.

On second thought, maybe not.

I'm starting to get a headache...

Maybe I should sleep.

Then again, maybe not.

Noone knows... its a mystery.

I was the Turkey... I was the turkey the whole time.

How many twos could a toucan can, if a toucan could can twos?

All of them, duh.

Don't cry for me um... Prince Georgians?

Ok, seroiusly, bed.




Fucked up Insecure Neurotic and Emotional

Joe's play was awesome, I really enjoyed it.

I should e-mail him.

And Kenny.

Ok, I'll actually post this now.

Dragostea Din Tie/Love From Linden Trees

Super funny!!

My new obsession


Miya-heeMiya-hooMiya-hoMiya-haha[These are just sounds.]

- Verse 2 -

Alo, Salut, sunt eu, un haiduc,Si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea.Alo, alo, sunt eu Picasso,Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.

Hello [on a cellphone], greetings, it's me, an outlaw,I ask you, my love, to accept happiness.Hello, hello, it's me, Picasso,I sent you a beep [cellphone signal], and I'm brave [or strong],But you should know that I'm not asking for anything from you.

- Chorus 3 (2 times) -

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

You want to leave but you don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want don't want to take me.Your face and the love from the linden trees,And I remember your eyes.

- Verse 4 -

Te sun, sa-ti spun, ce simt acum,Alo, iubirea mea, sunt eu, fericirea.Alo, alo, sunt iarasi eu, Picasso,Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.

I call you [over the phone], to tell you what I feel right now,Hello, my love, it's me, your happiness.Hello, hello, it's me again, Picasso,I sent you a beep [cellphone signal] and I'm brave [or strong],But you should know that I'm not asking for anything from you.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

A Thank You

The ankh... my ankh.

I'd like to extend great thanks to Stan Nelson, and Tiffany Tomra for putting up with my relentless, picky, opinionated, inability to express myself, adn in the end together they managed to put together something amazing w/o ever meeting! lol! THank you both.

To me, the ankh means Life, and depicts the sun rising, which to me symbolizes the sun rising everyday on a new day, and tho life may continually change, the sun still rises. Obviously, the rays around the ankh are there to put emphasis on the sun, and the white light within the ankh symbolizes the good in everyone, and how each of us shine from within, each in our own way.

BTW, this is merely an ink painting done by my sister so I could see how it looks.

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater...

Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.

Borrow money from a pessimist... they don't expect it back.

It's lonely at the top, but you do eat better.

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Campers: Natures way of feeding mosquitos.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Laugh alone, and the world thinks you're an idiot.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative...

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

According to my best recollection... I can't remember.

On the other hand you have fingers.

ALL generalizations are false.

Who stopped the payment on my reality check?

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Eat well, stay fit, die anyways.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

A day without sunshine is like, night.

Always try to be modest and be proud of it!

Chocolate: the OTHER major food group.

Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines! <- (boo....)

Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ass?

Death is hereditary.

Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


And tomorrow.

I have yet to do anything I really planned on doing. I have to go to granville isl, the spa, rock climbing, I doubt I'm going to be getting a tatoo anymore, maybe when I'm better back in PG. I want to ride the sky train, I haven't seen Joe yet, and I haven't gone and seen Ivy's place. Also, now that I know Jack and Tessa as people, I want to get them presents before I leave.

And yet, here I go again staying in bed till 10:30 am... *sigh* my sleeping patterns are so disturbed.

Well, off to start my day.

Holy Water

Somewhere there's a stolen halo.
I used to watch her wear it well.
And everything would shine,
Whereever she would go,
But lookin at her now you'd never tell.

Someone ran away with her answers.
Memories she can't get out of her head
I can only imagine what shes feeling
when she's praying,
Kneeling at the edge of her bed.

And she says "Take me away
then take me farther.
Hold me now...
Like holy water"

She wants someone to call her angel.
Someone to put the light back in her eyes.
She's looking through the faces,
the unfamiliar places
She needs someone to hear her when she cries...

WHen I get home...

I'm going to get off late nights, and restrict myself to 2-3 shifts a week.

I'm going to go see my Dr.

I'm going to continue to figure out who I am.

I'm going to make a conscious effort to stop all negative comments.

I'm going to stop feelings guilty, and like others need me or my time.

Isn't it horrible how sometimes we can't see how horrible things are until something dramatic happens like hurting one of the ppl you love more than anything in this world? That you realize how you feel, adn the horrible things you say are totally different... How did I manage to totally lose myself.

Monday, February 20, 2006


Dezeray's Hammer is apparently the name ofa band...


how is it aht I can sign on to blogger, but I can't get into my online banking, and somehow fuck it up soooooooooo royally that its eliminated me from online banking all together... I think I'll go txt msg ppl , my other fave drunk pasttime

Saturday, February 18, 2006


AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I have to leave for the concert in less than 2 hours, and I'm not at all ready for Vancouver... I havne't packed, I haven't collected music or vacuumed out my car.... I still need to shower, and clean the stalls... *sigH* so disorganized, but so excited for going... I will miss you all, if I have a chance I'll post on my blog while I'm down there, good bye everyone!! *hugs*

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentines Day...

Sunday, February 12, 2006


*snicker* Movie sooooooooooo funny. Waiting (about a restaurant called Shenanigans, and all the "Shenanigans" that occur over the course of one shift.) Had a couple gross scenes, lets face it, but beyond that... sooooooo funny!!! And true. And angering... holy, some of the customers in the movie caused me to become very emotionally involved.

Phil and Becca didn't come cause they don't know how to answer/return calls!!! However, we packed a bunch of ppl into the boys apartment, and it was much fun. Think I ate to much sugar tho... yes, sugar bad. Wait... did I just type that? its a lie, sugar is NOT bad... what I meant was "bad" like... speaking in opposites... ok, I'm babbling I think thats a sure sign of Dez being overtired... off to bed... adieu.


Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One!!! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They'd sit there in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out!! And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 13 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find the bulbs 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS DAMNED HOUSE!

I'm sorry. What was your question?

Tough Love vs. Spanking

Most of America's populace thinks it very improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control our kids when they have one of "those moments."

One that I found very effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk. He or she usually calms down and stops misbehaving after our little car ride together.

I've included the photo below of one of my sessions with our son in case you would like to use the technique.


I just spent several hours observing teenagers hanging out at our local mall. I came to the conclusion many teenagers in America today are living in poverty. Most young men I observed didn't even own a belt; there was not one among the whole group. But that wasn't the sad part. Many were wearing their daddy's jeans. Some jeans were so big and baggy they hung low on their hips, exposing their underwear. I know some must have been ashamed their daddy was short, because his jeans hardly went below their knees. They weren't even their daddies' good jeans, for most had holes ripped in the knees and a dirty look to them.

It grieved me, in a modern, affluent society like America, there are people who can't afford a decent pair of jeans. I was thinking about asking my church to start a jeans drive for "poor kids at the mall." Then on Christmas Eve, I could go Christmas caroling and distribute jeans to these poor teenagers. But here is the saddest part. it was the girls they were hanging out with that disturbed me most. I never, in all of my life, seen such poverty -stricken girls. These girls had the opposite problem of the guys . They all had to wear their little sisters clothes. Their jeans were about 5 sizes too small! I don't know how they could put them on, let alone button them up. Their jeans barely went over their hipbones. Most also had on their little sister's top; it hardly covered their midsections. Oh, they were trying to hold their heads up with pride, but it was a sad sight to see these almost grown women wearing children's clothes. However, it was their underwear that bothered me most. They, like the boys, because of the improper fitting of their clothes, had their underwear exposed. I never saw anything like it. It looked like their underwear was only held together by a single piece of string.

I know it saddens your heart to receive this report on condition of our American teenagers. While I go to bed every night with a closet full of clothes nearby, there are millions of "mall girls" who barely have enough material to keep it together. I think their "poorness" is why these 2 groups gather at the mall, boys with their short daddies' ripped jeans, and girls wearing their younger sisters' clothes. The mall is one place where they can find acceptance. So, next time you are at the mall, doing your shopping, and you pass by some of these poor teenagers, would you say a prayer for them? And one more thing ... Will you pray the guys' pants won't fall down, and girls' strings won't break?

I thank you all,


Friday, February 10, 2006


Monday, February 06, 2006

Busy Busy Busy

So busy... so so busy... *snicker*

Anyways... as someone famous once said "today is the first day of the rest of your life" so I'd like to put it into my own words and say "today is the first day of the rest of MY life" and maybe thats waht I'll start doing... living.

Randomness... how healthy can fruit loops REALLY be? I mean, granted its the only time i ever get milk, but seriously... there's nothing in them except food colouring and flour... oh and sugar... sooooo much sugar, hence why i eat them every morning.

Anyhow, gunna try and get caught up in school today, and everyday.
Going to try and plan a trip to Vancouver for my reading break.
Bought myself an iRiver, MP3 player. Very cool and fun.
For those who don't see me often, I died my hair a dark brown, but its not as dark as I wanted, so I'm going to redye it shortly. its currently up in little braids that I did myself.
Deleted more than 300 pictures off my computer... that wasn't even half of them, they were just the junky blurry ones that had no use... I think i've taken a few pictures with my digital.

My arm hurts.
My heart hurts more.
I hate Denny's
But I have 3 days off in a row.
Of course, thats b/c me and Connie switched shifts.
Going to the Trews concert soon.
Going to a fantasia party tomorrow.
I have a headache.
I'm rich!


Have you ever had a heartache
One that leaves you in the cold
The kind breaks you, really takes you
All the way down to a higher low

Have you ever been up in the middle of the night
Crying on your pillow and praying for the daylight
Hearing every word like a sad song saying goodbye
Have you ever been the one with the what have I done
And nothing's ever gonna feel right
Start thinking 'bout drinking Just to keep from going out of your mind
Have you ever had a heartache like mine

Have you ever had a heartache
Turn your life right upside-down
Did you feel the dread that's on you
The stuff that holds you come unwound

Its a Heartache

It's a heartache,
Nothin' but a heartache:
Hits you when it's too late,
Hits you when you're down.

It's a fool's game,
Nothin' but a fool's game:
Standing in the cold rain,
Feeling like a clown.

It's a heartache,
Nothin' but a heartache:
Love him till your arms break,
Then he lets you down.

It ain't right with love to share,
When you find he doesn't care for you.
It ain't wise to need someone,
As much as I depended on you.

Ah, it's a heartache,
Nothin' but a heartache:
Hits you when it's too late,
Hits you when you're down.

Broken Heart

I keep having these disturbing dreams:
My final days, the end of me.
For some odd reason, I get one last wish,
And every time, I wish for this:
Take me fast or take me slow.
I don't really care how I go.
In the daylight or in the dark,
Just don't let me die of a broken heart.

The kind of pain that you just can't take,
Will send a strong man to his grave.
There's not a pill that can give you a rest,
Or fill that hole deep in your chest.

So, take me fast or take me slow.
I don't really care how I go.
In the daylight or in the dark,
Just don't let me die of a broken heart.

I've been crushed by that hurt before.
There's no way I could take any more.
If I fell in love, and I found out it would happen again,
I'd say take me now.

And take me fast or take me slow.
I don't really care how I go.
In the daylight or in the dark,
Just don't let me die of a broken heart.
Take me fast or take me slow.
I don't really care how I go.
In the daylight or in the dark,
Just don't let me die of a broken heart.
No, don't let me die of a broken heart.

Sunday, February 05, 2006


So this is what love is.
I never expected this much pain.
I cut myself to bring the pain outside.
But when I think of him I can't feel the blood running down my arm.
I've allowed my life to become hardly an existance.
How did this all happen?
If love is supposed to be so beautiful then how come it has ended in scars and broken hearts.
How can a girl who used to be so crazy and happy, invert and resort to self mutilation.
Its funny how people can recognize and sympathize with the physical pain.
But its really the internal pain that tears you to shreds.
I hope to one day find joy in life again.
But for now, there is only existance.

Saturday, February 04, 2006


It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial costand blamed it on the cost of living.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

For Sale: Wedding dress, size 12, worn once by mistake.

Never criticize your wife's faults.It might have been those faults that kept her from getting a better husband.

For Sale: One computer slightly used. One bullet hole in screen.

If a "fatal" error is made with the E-mail I sent, does that mean I killed somebody?

What's the speed of dark?

Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane.

Light travels faster than sound.That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

When you go into court you're putting yourself in the hands of 12 peoplewho weren't smart enough get out of jury duty.