Sunday, January 29, 2006

I Hate...


How can they NOT let me give Stan my shift?!? How can they expect me to have no life outside of work?!? How can other servers with more seniority get less hours than the 18 year old girl whos going to school and asked to have her hours reduced? And the shifts she ends up with she's not even really making money on tips anymore so whats the fucking point of working there? How can they basically say to me, we dont' really care if you're about to start failing school, deal with it and come to work anyhow. I've realized I really can't call in sick, but how about calling in saying you're dying. Just call in and say "Hi, can't make it to work, I'm dying b/c I just slit my wrists" They'd phone back an hour later and say "Hey, you still alive?" "Hardly" "Well, we didn't even try to call anyone in, but we can't cover your shift, can you come in please?" "Ya, just let me mop up the blood and wrap my wrists in towels..." HOW CAN THEY GET AWAY WITH HOW THE TREAT THEIR STAFF?!?! THey're about to lose all their late night kitchen staff, and at the rate they're going, most of their late night servers. Fuck Denny's, they're about to be screwed over, but not nearly as badly as they've managed to screw us over.


I'm already behind, but of course its b/c of the first mentioned place that I hate.


Fuck ICBC, how am I 50% at fault for some asshole backing down the road in the wrong lane then stopping forever in the OTHER lane, THEN turning in front of me? Why should MY insurance go up 55% a year... how am I supposed to deal with this. And while we're at it, fuck the cop who came to the accident for being an asshole and helping ICBC screw me over.

Drunk people.

How do I like MY eggs? Unfertalized so don't even dream of touching me!!! You'd like to float me? Go float yourself. Yes, you're drinks are comming, right after I get the OTEHR table who was sat before you's drinks out, and if you don't like the wait, don't order milkshakes, and if you do'nt want to wait even longer, don't ask for a fucking banana in your chocolate milkshake. Its just that easy. You're eating at Denny's now, the food is greasy, and you might have to wait for it. Its 3:30 am, if you dont' like it go elsewhere. Oh wait, there isn't anywhere else where they'll let drunk ppl come in at 3:30 am and harass the waitresses and order food. Walk through the McDonalds drive through, the poor suckers there MIGHT help you.

Useless Managers.

"He's just being friendly" my ass!! Touching my waist isn't friendly, holding my arm, isn't friendly, stroking the hostesses hand while she's pouring coffee, is NOT friendly!!! Its boardering on sexual harrasment. "Sorry you didn't help on the floor more today?" BULLSHIT! If you were sorry you would've gotten up and helped. You would've done more than seat one of the 4 tables that came in at once. You would've ran food instead of letting Mike come off his break and helping me run it. "Am I off my break yet?" FUck you, I took an extra five minutes to finish reading an article in the paper... deal with it, you've been sitting there flirting with some stoned creep for hours.

My car.

Actually, not really but a lot got taken out on the car today, including being kicked, punched, and breaking my window scraper over the top of the roof.


One minute, you're in love with someone who loves you and you're working hard to make things work, and the next he "just wants to be alone" but you should "still be his friend, he won't let things get weird" but "he'll give you as much time as you need, the balls in your court" and then tells you that "you'll be fine" and says you can "keep his house key" as a "memento". All to which you reply, "Geuss I have no choice then do i." "How can I be friends with someone I'm in love with? How can I be friends when I'll always want more" "of course i'll be fine i'm Dez, fuck you" and "what would I do with your key? Come over at six in the morning and cuddle?" memento? i repeat "fuck you" And then you cry in front of him... and you've been dumped before but you've NEVER cried in front of the person breaking up with you... but this one you cry in front of b/c of how much you love him, and how you've never actually tried to make things work before like you did with him, and now its all for naught. All the time you spent with him instead of your horse, or friends, or school work, or family... and then the happy memories keep replaying in your head, and you can't actually figure out where it went wrong between that last good monday you spent together and the friday he broke up with you. Monday he said he loved you, friday he said he wanted to be alone. Fuck him, and fuck love. But here I sit hoping he'll miss me, and realize how good I was to him/for him, that I helped him get his business rolling, if it weren't for me it would've just been something that he talked about, that i'm the only one he can talk to about most things... that he loves me, and that counts for something, and he'll want me back. You remember the stupid things he said to you, "It'll take a really long time to say I lvoe you b/c its not something I can say easily unless I know for sure I mean it" and then he does. The "See, its things like that that prove we'll be together for a long time" "Everyone can tell we'll be together for a long time" liar. You keep runnign the stupid movies and books through your head where they break up, then realize how stupid they were and get back together... And the sick odd, unlike Dez thing is, I'd take him back, unlike everyother time wehn you just want them to want you back so you can be like HA! Sucks to be you. But no... this one person has affected your life so much, and made you see thigns in a different light, and you fell for him against your own will... you love him... and it all ends with bittersweet memories. Fuck him, and fuck love.


Its moving at an incredibly fast pace... how does one keep up? WHats the point of going to school? THe obvious, so I dont have to work at Denny's all my life... but is thats what life is about? Going to school to find a different job to hate? Falling in love so someone can break your heart. Dragging yourself out of bed everyday to face the world even tho all you want is to lie in a fetal position and cry... which i did btw, and it was nice. I went to bed at 7:45 am, and didn't get out of it till 8:30pm... in tiem to get dressed and go to work. the harder you try to "get ahead in life" the further behind you fall. You work as much as possible, and take classes so you can have a career and pay off student debts... but you miss the little things. So you take the time for friends and family and hobbies, and you end up uneducated with "no direction" {why do we need a direction? where are we headed?} and stuck in some stupid job you hate. So is it about love? To quote Jughead from Archie Comics "If love makes the world go round, stop the world I want to get off" True love is hollywood bullshit that from time to time ppl make themselves think they're in. You're not. Its just an idea you've forced yourself to believe in. And some of you thought I had a passion for life...

Signed always,

Bitter and Heartbroken.


Cole said...

Where do you want me to start... LOVE sucks! One reason i don't have a person in my life it's to complcated. How do you be friends with someone you love...if you really want to know you don' me it hurts and it's hard Dez it's like nails running across your body! but for some strange reason you still love them and they will drive you to the brink of insainity. But in my case i would rather go insain then then not have them in my life.Becasue she is so special to me:)

GopherX said...

Damn Dez, that's pretty rough. My kung-fu wisdom is all dried up here. All I can really offer is support and this:
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If you need anything just redeem the coupon and I'll see to it.

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