Wandering Souls
My good friend Jenny once criticized an old b/f of mine, saying "Where is his passion? He seems to have no passion for anything" to which I replied, "Jenny, I don't really have any either..." Jenny looked at me like I was stupid and retorted "Dezeray, you're one of the most passionate people I've ever met. You have a passion for everything, but mainly you have a passion for life."
Where has that passion gone? My mom asked me what made me "excited" today, and I blankly stared at her. I don't even try to put time or energy into Equitation, photography's merely a hobby, I'm not the worlds biggest fan of my job, I stopped theatre a long time ago, school is just causing stress, all my friends (almost all i should say) are as messed up as I am or worse... what does that leave me? Where does that leave me?
"Growing up I always wanted to be somebody, but now I see I shoulda been more specific..."
Ha ha... that reminds me of me... on the topic of what I want to do for the rest of my life, I want to be somebody. I want power, and respect.
One thing I know I want right now, is out of Prince George. I konw that I can not live here forever. Even just going to school here I feel stagnant, like I"m not actually working towards anything. Like, if I was going to school in Vancouver, or Edmonton, I'd be working towards something. Which I'd like to point out is quite silly.
I feel like a wandering soul right now... no direction, no passion. But... at the same time I think there is a lil passion hidden somewhere, and I have a vague direction, so maybe I'm not as bad off as I seem. HA! See... i can talk myself out of depression!! Now I should take a look at that homework Garfield assigned me (looking up ALL career choices and comming back with a couple I might be interessted in... amazing how he always has the best advice for me, and somehow says the most encouraging thing with just a couple sentences...)
In other news I'm off late night now!! I beleive this saturday is my last late night shift. WHich unfortunatly makes me sad... i actually like the shift itself for the tips, lack of management, and I LOVE the people I work with... Connie, Stan, Mac... I'll have to make an effort to see them outside of work!!
Ok, this tea has gone right through me (Chammomile to help me relax, and fight infection), and I really should get some sleep so that I can excersize before school tomorrow. Also, note to self, go suntanning.
AND!! A random picture for laughs!! 
6 comments:
Dez, I'm really happy that you're off latenights...I know that, despite the lack of great tips, it'll be better for you. Good for you.
I was really glad to hear from you today...I'm going to call you tomorrow.
Take care, and know that you're loved. Even if we're all messed up, we still all have love...crazy, messed up love, perhaps, but love nonetheless. :P
*uber dez hugs*
Well it looks like you're finally getting things straightened out. ^_^
irt3hyay4u
Passion may subside and become dormant but it never truly goes away. Remember that, please.
Love love love.. you speak of love as if it's a object no on has love. Love has you. That is why you can't chose to turn it on or off or choose who you love. cause you Never have it. Dez i am so glad for you in every thing you do and i am glad your pulling your head out of the sandbox.
JEnny's right you have passion and dreams! your direction and motivation maybe a little off key. But you have a whole lot of people backing you up. Rememeber never eat pickels and cheese!:D
Love cole *HUgs hugs hugs*
Hey... noone said anything about the super cool pic I posted *sniff*
Oh, and Jeremy, I miss yoU!
I diddn't mention it, but I did save it. The things you find on the net sometimes amaze even me.
I miss you too Dez!
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