Friday, June 01, 2007

Those things called life love and happiness.

I really feel I've had enough of all of them. Think about that collection of words tho... isn't life really the search of happiness obtained through the love of something/one... so w/o one there cannot be the other. Interessting.

But really... I remember why I hate ppl being all drooly over me... they're never ppl I'm attracted to. Though I think thats partially b/c they let me walk all over them, and I find that very unattractive... I only go for the ones that have no interest :P. I should explain how I got my printer... a very cute, and very dorky/nerdy boy was standing around at London Drugs, so I approached him in my "on a mission and confident about it" way, asking about a very specific printer. Instantly I can tell this boy is attracted to me, he scuttles over to a computer and starts looking it up, discovers they don't have it, looks up who in Canada does. Finds one with 4, phones, they won't send it up, phones 4 more stores, none will send it up, one says they MAY be able to, they'll call him back, so I wander off for a while... he tracks me down, says they havne't called, should he call them again? I tell him its no big deal, they call a little while later explaining they can't send it up... he takes my information so he can call me if he finds one... not 2 hours later I get a phone call from him, he tracked one down... I can't even fathom how many stores he called, or how long it took him... seirously, crazy. Today was a blast from the past, and i"m not certain how to take it... he showed up at BP, we chatted for a while, then both took off, he came back at night to meet up with friends, then we all decided to go out for a couple drinks and dancing. He drove me there, fair enough, then he drank way too much, resulting in me driving his car to BP, leaving it there and driving him home in my car. Came with him upstairs b/c he had a toaster he didn't need so he wanted me to have it for when I move out, cool cool. Just as I'm leaving, drunk part of boy starts gushing feelings again... he really messed up when he was with me, he wishes htings would've worked out, he really likes me, blah blah blah, oh, and I regret not hooking up with you that night you were drunk. GAH! Um... thanks? But to be honest, its emotionally draining to be around these ppl who are more like puppy dogs... I dont mean to sound arrogant or anything... jsut, frustrated right now.

And why do I seem incapable of controlling my own wants and desires?!? I couldn't believe, that while laying in the arms of a guy, I still wished it was a very specific someone. Why do I only want what I can't have?

Also, what is with life changing in a moments notice. When I returned from Edmonton many things were thrown at me, changes and decisions... I got it all sorted out, had a plan... and change AGAIN! Frustrated!

I doubt this post really makes sense, and I dearly hope I don't come off as arrogant or concieted or anything. Just frustrated at the moment... I'm really a closet fairytale end wisher.


Mel said...

Hey my friend!! I'm ready to go to the continent over here, just wasting away the time on the computer. I'll probably go out for desert later, mine and Belinda's attempt at cooking dinner was a semi-success/semi-bust, but overall we're full, for about the same price as a meal in a restaurant but with leftovers!! Miss you my friend-gonna need a giant hug when I get back

Cole said...

It's called the PURSUIT of happiness. emphases becuase happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. Depressing eh? LOL

I think people in general are a consumer society so that when someone obtain what they want. There is something eles replaces that want and it's kinda like a cycle. So when are we never content and always look on to the next thing that will make us's my philosophy anyways.

Controlling your wants and desires where's the fun in that? we would never have any good movies or books if that were that case."and they broke up shook hands and went there seperate ways" no anguish no pain. that's a part of life coping with life. You can't choose the ones you love.